Monday, June 20, 2005
Life, what it is
Hope you enjoy all the photos... remember, they're copyrighted. :) I learned many things in Mexico. I believe that everything God places in our lives, everything that's allowed is for a reason. Therefore, nothing from my trip was an accident, so the things that took place and from which I learned are all from God's hand. For starters, I learned that a life of debauchery is so empty... drinking, clubbing, etc. are all such empty pursuits, and oddly enough happen at night, go figure, since things of darkness don't like to be discovered. I don't have anything against alcohol in moderation, but drunkness is not a beneficial activity, though many would disagree with me about the fun of drinking/drunkness. I heard constantly, with jokingness and fondness, that so-and-so got drunk last night and man, were they drunk. perhaps, this scenario is not so unfamiliar to your ears, but to me, who's only lived among Christian folks my entire life, it was a first hand experience. Que mas.... well, I learned that my heart is tricksy. Yes, who would have thought that the words of scripture could be so potently true: the heart is deceitfully wicked, who can know it? Certainly I was surprised at the leanings of my heart and how far they would have allowed me to go. I knew that girls craved affection and attention from the opposite sex, but I surprised at myself that I was willing in my heart to have them come to me from someone who doesn't share my own beliefs and faith.... the major thing that I've always said I want in a guy, a strong faith in Jesus even more sure than my own. But, alas, this boy, though very "good" and with whom I feel a strong connection emotionally, doesn't share the most important connection of all... my Jesus Christ. I learned, even more, about who am I.... for being in a totally secular environment without any Christian fellowship can be quite the struggle. Struggle, in the sense that I had no one to keep me accountable, to keep my thoughts in line with Him... I could tell after awhile my thoughts started slightly following the worldly ways of those around me... oh, that outfit isn't soo bad, doing that thing wouldn't be wrong, etc. My heart, my head were starting to be messed/toyed with. However, by the grace of God, I can say that I held my ground in the end. I didn't compromise, even when the circumstances seemed permissive and enticing. I learned these things: that a drunken life is an empty life trying to fill the void, that intimate relationships are possible for me yet I need to guard my heart and be patient while sticking to my beliefs, and that the mind needs to be renewed daily in the things of God, so that we may not stray from the path. My heart is in this message, God has taught me soo much and for which I'm grateful. I knew these things in my head before, but he allowed me to see/witness them so that I'd know for sure and be able to say with confidence of what I believe on these things. Three weeks... it felt so long so short yet just enough to teach me some important things. I feel like a different person, I've just been changing so much in the last year that I barely recognize myself anymore, en serio. Change, I hope, for the best in the long run. Oh God make me a fit vessel for your service, ready and willing to be used.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
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